ANGRY STUFF COMING UP!

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IT’S FINALLY HERE! Somebody Had To Say It (The Greatest Rants of 2011) is Angry Patrick’s new CD that showcases OVER 30 of your favorite rants of the past year! Now get the anger in your CD player WHENEVER YOU WANT! Assault your friends with bits like Betty White is a Ninja, The Butt Bra, Jesus on a Cheeto and many, many more! You can’t get more anger for the money! Get your autographed copy on the way today for only $10 + shipping!

TRACK LIST

1) Intro Song

2) Betty White is a Ninja

3) Deep Fried Beer

4) Married at McDonalds

5) Snooki’s Birthday Sponsored by Lifestyle

6) Walgreen’s Makes It’s Own Beer Now

7) Lindsay Lohan: Worst Criminal Ever

8 ) Farmville for Dummies

9) Girl Scout Cookies Cause Fights

10) The Butt Bra

11) She Had What In Where?

12) Scarjo and PawPaw

13) The Great Burrito Shootout

14) Kirstie Falls On DWTS

15) Jesus On A Cheeto

16) Achey Breaky Love Doll

17) Deep Fried Easter

18) Honolulu Hammertime

19) Hamsters Have Feelings, Too

20) Naked Marathon Man

21) Shut Up Katy Perry

22) Cell Phones and Sex Toys

23) The Judge Says I Can Masturbate At Work

24) Jesus Is Not The Next American Idol

25) Candyland: The Movie

26) I Wish The Gator Had Won

27) Sesame Street’s Liberal Agenda

28) Coco The Colossal Colon

29) Burgers Made Of What?

30) Strippers Who Use Hypnosis

31) Rattlesnake Cuddling

32) The Racist Yard Sale

33) Four Month Orgasm

34) Why Is Mom Humping The Computer?

35) Facebook Post: Hitman Needed

36) The Placenta Cookbook

37) Topless Church

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Hello New England!  The Tri-State area including Boston is now being invaded by yours truly!

I am excited to join K-ROCK 101.9 and The Morning Show with Parker and James to start blasting the fine people along the eastern seaboard.

This is a mainstream rock station with a very edgy feel so I think I will be right at home. But what about the New Englanders?

Will they love it? Will the east coast embrace the anger? Stay tuned!

The anger will infect the East starting Monday at 7:30 EST!

For more information on the show visit the website!

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Well, it has been a long time in the making but it’s finally here! Capitol Anger: Angry Patrick Live and Uncensored in D.C. This DVD features stand up from my trip to Washington D.C as well as some crazy antics I pulled at iconic Washington monuments and on unsuspecting D.C. residents!

Here’s the description:

“Step into the crazy mind of Angry Patrick as he performs in the nation’s capitol and delivers a show filled with outrageous observations about the things that piss us all off.  Filmed live in Washington D.C., Patrick waxes angry on lazy people, waxing the dolphin (and yeah, that’s a euphemism), the feminine hygiene aisle, marriage vs dating and much, much more.  And you don’t just get the fury of stand up! It’s also filled with bonus footage of Angry Patrick taking the crazy to the streets of D.C.  You won’t believe some of the antics he pulls. Watch this DVD and the Washington Monument may never be the same again in your mind! Live and uncensored just the way you like it!”

Capitol Anger: Angry Patrick Live and Uncensored in D.C. is only $15.00 plus shipping ($2.50) and can be purchased with any credit card or PayPal account by clicking the button below!

THE FIRST 50 ORDERS WILL BE AUTOGRAPHED!

(Special thanks to Greg Jamison for cover art, Jennifer Smith for cover photography and Eric Deitz for video editing. TRUE ANGER ALLIES!)

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The Anger is officially in New Mexico and west Texas starting next Monday, as Angry Patrick is officially part of KXPZ The Rocket 99.5 FM Jack Lutz morning show on Mondays!

Starting at 7 am MST or 8 am CST, Angry Patrick will go on air to talk about the bit you hear every week, except that the rant will be separated into three different bits! That means the first topic will run during the first hour, the second topic will run at the start of the second hour (8 am MST) and the third topic will begin the third hour (9 am MST).

You can listen live from anywhere in the world right here on our radio affiliates page, where there are links to the station site and also a direct link to the live feed of every station Patrick is on.

On top of that, afternoon show host Lynz Green is going to be using the same bit again in the afternoons, so that’s Angry Patrick twice a day in six different time slots!

The 100,000 watt station covers a large portion (http://www.radio-locator.com/cgi-bin/pat?call=KXPZ&service=FM&status=L&hours=U) of New Mexico and some of Western Texas! Be sure to tune in and show the love to Jack Lutz and Lynz Green and The Rocket 99.5 FM in Las Cruces, New Mexico!

As a comedian, I get paid to do something I absolutely love doing. People often ask me what the hardest part of doing standup is. Is it being on stage in front of all those people? Nope. Is it trying to remember all the material while I’m on stage? That IS hard but not even close to the hardest part. Is it writing the material? Well, yes and no. The hardest part is writing the material and finding that one “killer” punch line that causes the deep, belly laugh that occurs when you catch an audience completely off guard. Yet, I have the luxury of having an audience that has been lubricated for laughs before I ever get on. The magic laugh helper called alcohol makes every joke better. Ever been to comedy club without alcohol? Didn’t think so.

The author of a book with a comic premise will find it exponentially harder to generate that “mystical laugh” on an unsuspecting reader, mainly because most people don’t rank reading books high on the “Drunk To Do List”.

In The 2012 Guide Book (How to Make the End of the World Fun), rest assured, not only does Deitz find that “mystical laugh” spot, he repeatedly punches it like a heavyweight fighter in his prime.

As a writer myself, one of the best compliments I can bestow is that this book transcends any demographic and is broad enough in it’s appeal that almost anyone would find it a good read. I say almost anyone because if you are a Mayan, religious zealot or zombie, you may be offended.

Although 2012 is based on a farcical look at surviving the end of the world, as predicted by the Mayan Calendar, it also prepares the reader for a great deal more. Zombies, melting polar ice caps, the ozone hole, killer asteroids, evil space aliens, black holes, survival bunkers, deadly machines, earthquakes, nukes, religious prophecies are just a few of the topics Deitz satirizes through this hilarious journey across the way out and whacko theories held by many about the end times.

During your time learning how to prepare for the end, Deitz peppers in a liberal tasting of political and pop culture references, including an entire chapter that theorizes the destruction of the planet based on the possibility of a Kirsty Alley explosion.

Though I thoroughly enjoyed the entire book, I needed surgery to have my funny bone reattached after learning Deitz’s methods for overcoming the zombie challenge. I also found horrendous after-laughter stomach pains upon digesting his proposal of a religion based on cake. Yes, cake. And I immediately joined The Bunker Club after Deitz rendered me with a much greater understanding of the #10 Can. What a miracle of engineering that is!

The craziest thing about this crazy book is that, somehow, along the way, through all of the laughs, I actually set the book down having genuinely learned a few things. Sure, they were things that I would likely never use in a normal conversation. I could never really see myself saying, “Bob, did you ever hear about Krampus, the Austrian angry spirit demon who is the anti-Santa?” Yet, somehow I feel better for knowing. And did I mention the bit about Satan’s gallstone? Well, don’t miss that one either.

Who knew the destruction of the world could be so much fun? Deitz, that’s who.

Patrick

Anger Allies are starting to spread all over, and Southern Minnesota is the next target! After picking up the highest Arbitron ratings for an active rock station in the Mankato, Minnesota area, KQYK 95.7 FM The Blaze was a natural choice for Angry Patrick to move to for a new market!

He’ll be on the air on Thursday mornings at 8:15 CST in a hybrid form of what you Arkansas Anger Allies are used to hearing – he’ll be calling in live to introduce his bit and talk to the morning host, Spence, and then it’ll move right into the same bit you hear on the Corey and Jay Show every week.  After being picked up in Denver and Fayetteville and El Paso, this is another great new territory for Angry Patrick’s rants! The town of 36,500 is just next to North Mankato, which features another 85,000, and on top of that Mankato is home to a branch of Minnesota State University, which currently has over 16,000 students.

Stayed tune for more announcements on what new radio stations will have Angry Patrick on their shows, and tune into 95.7 The Blaze at http://www.957theblaze.com/.

Anger Ally Justin Smith sent me this caricature he drew of me and all I can say is, ARE YOU FRICKIN KIDDING ME! This kicks serious angry ass! You will see the picture he used to base it on above and the artwork below. Nice job, Justin! Glad you are a soldier in the Angry Army!

DENVER – After taking a tour stop to Washington D.C. and finding himself in front of big crowds again in Arkansas, Patrick “Angry Patrick” Beam is going national on the radio. The standup comedian and radio personality is already live in Little Rock, Arkansas on the Corey and Jay Show and in Fayetteville, Arkansas on the Jon Williams Show every Friday morning – but now you can hear Patrick on KBPI Rocks the Rockies 106.7 FM in Denver, Colorado every Tuesday morning at 8:15 mountain time and 9:15 central time.

Patrick will be live on-air on the Your Morning Show with Wille B. and Missy, ranting and raving in the rocky mountains and bringing the anger to Denver! To tune in and listen live to the weekly rant, just go to www.kbpi.com and click listen live on Tuesday mornings!

I have to admit, being in Washington DC for the first time was incredible! Standing before such icons as the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument…it’s one of those things you just don’t grasp until you are there.

Now, having said that, don’t think I lost my comic irreverence because I didn’t.  We set up a “man on the streets” type video and I got to work the Washington Monument  like a teenage boy through a little camera trickery, had fun with a cabbie, tried to get a ice cream vendor to help me locate a one-legged prostitute and a whole lot more! It will all be on the DVD coming out this fall!

And speaking of the DVD, my performance at Liberty Laughs was about as much fun as it gets.  We had a great crowd and it is a fantastic venue. It was nice enough we had a two camera set to film the standup sets so I can add that with the other bits from the street and make a kick ass DVD!

You can already see one clip RIGHT HERE!

More to come soon!